Well, today was the day that our 19 yr old son began to spread his wings and fly. He got a moped. I didn't like it, I still don't. Just the idea of a wet-behind-the-ears young man that hasn't had much experience with real life, let alone handle a vehicle that has nothing to protect him, makes me uneasy. I didn't like the idea when my significant other, also known to me, affectionately, as Mr. Sir, first mentioned it.
My mind quickly turned to the bad things that could happen. Didn't we just teach him how to ride a bicycle without the training wheels...just yesterday, it seems? Didn't he just go off to his first day of kindergarten? Out into the big scary world. How was it that our little boy was all grown up? Where was I? Where did the time go? Did I raise him right? Could he defend himself out in the real world? My teenage-type has never had much experience with real life. After all, he's been the quiet type. A loner. A straight A student that never made time for going out with friends; preferring, instead, to keep to himself and focus on his education. Had I done the right thing by letting him be such an introvert and not pushing him to be more outgoing?
I went to pick up the moped with him today and although I had hoped and prayed all week that it wasn't going to be raining on the day we would pick it up, it rained. It rained on our way there and it rained, to my dismay, all the way back home. Mr. Sir couldn't sleep and called me 3 times while we were out picking it up. He had mentioned to me that he was worried, a few days ago. That he thought we should let the teenager-type practice around the neighborhood a few times before we let him loose on the streets with it. Mr. Sir, however, works nights so I told him to go back to sleep, that we had no other choice, no pickup truck or trailer to haul the darn thing.
There was no other option. Our son would have to drive it. Yes, in the rain and yes in the cold. Yes, on his own. I, the nervous mother, would have to drive in front of him as a mama duck does with her ducklings when teaching them to fly for the first time. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I kept an eye on the road and an eye in the rear view mirror. Today I learned the meaning of scared. I'd been scared before, that wasn't it. This time, I was scared for my offspring; a feeling only a mother knows. A gut-wrenching feeling that compares to nothing else I've felt before. I had to do it, however, he's not 5 anymore. He has to learn to stand (or drive) on his own.
We got home and he made it just fine. A little cold and wet but intact, thank you Jesus. Yep, I now know what they mean when they say having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body. It's scary but it's a part of life. He drove the 25 miles home all on his own. He was all smiles as he got off his moped and said to me, "Wow, that was fun!" I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
In the Fall, he'll be going off to college. I'll worry, I'll definitely cry. I will help him get things for his dorm/apartment. I will help him open his own checking account and I will sit back and watch him go out into the world with the protection of a praying mother, a loving father and the reassurance that although he will be on his own, God will be there with him, always. When he graduates, I will wait to hear him say, "Wow, that was fun!" Life will go on and my little boy is now all grown up. Where did the time go?
Several weeks ago, when we had him take a motorcycle driving course, it was pouring rain on the first day. He fell twice but it was in a parking lot where they were training him. Although, at the time, we were complaining because it was raining, now we know God knew it would rain on this very day and that he would need to learn to drive in it. He was preparing him for today. I'm thankful that he learned to drive it in the rain because it's much better that he fell in the parking lot while training than in the middle of a busy street where he could've been seriously hurt, or worse.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
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