Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Some people just refuse to see the obvious!

After I told my friend about putting God in the center of our marriage and family life I told her she could have that kind of relationship too if she so chose. I took this opportunity to witness to her, really witness to her. I saw a glimmer of hope come across her face.

I invited her to come with us to church on Sunday. She said she would go. Sunday came and went and she always had one excuse after another. I told her that I wouldn't push her and that it would be her decision. Quoting our pastor, I told her God was a perfect gentleman that He would not come into her life unless she asked Him wholeheartedly.

A couple weeks after her birthday she called me again to tell me she really needed to talk to a friend. I went and listened to what she had to say. As I had suspected, the husband was wanting out of the marriage. He was not coming home and hadn't for the past couple weeks. He'd been in town but he was staying elsewhere.

My friend was devastated. He told her he didn't love her as she had destroyed that love with her jealousy-induced accusations every time he came home. The proverbial crap had finally hit the fan. Here she was, out of a job, far from her family ( they are up in New York), no money and no place to go.

Come to find out, she had taken a leave of absence from her job and she had now decided that since she was going to go back home, she would not be asking for her job back. I tried to reason with her as best I could. I explained that she had no money, the apartment she lived in was paid for through the next couple months; that maybe she should just go back to work to make enough money to get back home. She was adamant she was leaving in a couple days. She wanted to get far away from this nightmare of hers.

She had a moving sale and sold all of her belongings that she possibly could. I was trying to tell her she was selling everything off way too cheap. She sold her dining set and her china cabinet for $200!! Same thing goes for the bedroom set. Nothing I said made her listen to reason.

Since she had already made up her mind that she was going back home I didn't push the job issue any more. In a couple days she would be gone and her healing would begin. I hated to see her in so much pain but at least I did what I could to help her while she was here. Going online, I found her some reasonably-priced tickets to fly back home. Everything was turning out fine after all. She would soon be home with her family, I thought, and this would all be only a terrible memory for her; one that would soon fade.

A few days later and a couple days before her flight was due to depart, like a bolt of lightning that comes out of the sky on a crisp clear day, she changed her mind! Being the dipstick that I am I start worrying about her job. I tell her my thoughts and that she better get back in there and get her job back. She acts like she cannot think straight. She is a total basket-case and is crying uncontrollably. I don't know how to deal with something like this as I've never seen anybody in that state of mind before.

I pray for guidance. I pray for her. I pray that God will show me what it is He wants me to do. She calls me several times a day. She comes over to my house. She is angry. She wants revenge on this other woman. She wants me to go with her and sit in this woman's apartment complex parking lot and wait to see if she can catch her husband with the "sewer rat" - as she called her.

For the life of me I don't know what to tell her. I mean this is insane! In the same breath she tells me she just wants to die. She wants to go to sleep and never wake up. I try to explain to her that she needs to think about her two sons. They need and love her. She has three grandchildren that need her around. This woman is 44 years old and she's acting like a love-struck teenager that has been jilted by her first lover. I tell her to get a grip of herself and to not shed anymore tears over a loser dog like her husband.

She smiles through her tears and she tells me I'm right that she's going to be okay and that she hopes the offending party will rot in hell and that he will pay dearly for what he's done. That God is merciful and He knows that she was a good wife and mother and that she is certain that God will take care of him as He sees fit.

In my ignorance I'm thinking she's coming around. She at least has put God into the equation, albeit in a different way than I was hoping but at least she has acknowledged Him. It's a start, I thought.

Night comes and goes and a new day has dawn. Little did I know what was in store for me that fateful day.

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