Monday, September 22, 2008

The saga continues....

Well, as promised, I am writing another chapter in my mini journal of the past couple months during which I endured things that I never dreamed I could.

It appeared that my friend's husband was having doubts about their marriage. At the beginning of the summer he had taken his kids to their biological mother up on the east coast to spend the summer vacation there. I didn't think anything of it and neither did my friend.

My friend and I went to get our bi-weekly manicures/pedicures and she mentioned that her husband had told her it would be okay for her to quit her job if she so chose. That was around the middle of June.

A month later and after two weeks of not seeing or hearing from her, she called me out of the blue and told me she had quit her job. When I asked her how long ago she had done this, she told me since the last time we had spoken. So, she'd been out of a job for two weeks but I had not heard from her during that time. She apparently was trying to work on their marriage. She mentioned she enjoyed living a life of leisure and not having to go to work every day.

A couple days later it was her birthday and she called me to tell me her two sons (grown and in their 20's) hadn't even bothered to call her. How nobody had even sent her a card, a gift - nothing. I, being the good friend (and sucker) that I am took her out for dinner. We talked about girl stuff...the usual. She also mentioned that her husband was acting more snippy with her than usual. He wasn't calling as often and when he came home they fought all the time.

What I did notice about her was that she was constantly calling him. Nothing really to talk about just to say hello and to see what he had eaten, where he was; small talk. When she mentioned that I had taken her out to dinner he did tell her, "Ok, well, enjoy your time with your friend." Abruptly hanging up afterwards. I had a weird feeling that he did not like her hanging around with me...or anybody for that matter. When I told her about my feeling that way she just shrugged her shoulders and said that was nonsense. After eating, I drove her back to her apartment and told her to keep in touch.

The next week when we got together to go shopping she tells me that her husband wants some "time away" from each other because he feels like she's acting too jealous and constantly accusing him of cheating on her. I asked her where that came from and apparently she had still been attacking him about his talking with her now ex-friend every time he came home.

I recalled that she had mentioned it in previous conversations we had had throughout the past several months but I had given it no further thought after I had told her to not fight with him over that. She had, according to her, forgiven him and that she shouldn't be throwing it up in his face all the time or the marriage was going to suffer because of it. I thought she had taken my advice. Wrong!! This woman kept hounding him about his supposed relationship with her ex-friend. In a way, I understood her being upset about this but in my mind I thought she was making a big deal out of it.

First of all, I explained to her, you don't ever confront the supposed "other woman" because if you go and insult somebody like that and there is nothing going on there, after a confrontation like that there might be. Second, don't ever fight over a man. It is not lady-like and only two-bit whores do that. I'm sorry but that is my honest opinion and I am not one to mince words. Third, nobody can take anybody away that doesn't want to go. That's the way I see it. To go and make a fool of oneself like that just isn't something a woman should do. I wouldn't give either one of them the satisfaction if that were me.

When I asked her more about this woman she told me that she had been a neighbor of theirs. That she had two sons. The youngest one was from a relationship she had had with a married man!! When I heard this, my mouth hit the floor. I was like, what the heck are you doing becoming friends with a person like that?! She told me that when she found out that it was already too late that she'd become friends with her and that she couldn't cut off the friendship because of something like that. I'm sorry but I wouldn't allow such a person in my home or anywhere near my family.

Marriages have enough problems to deal with without a friend you have to watch out for in that particular fashion. I mean for goodness sakes, I'm a friendly person but sheesh already! That's like bringing a wolf into your barnyard to see how it gets along with your sheep. Por favor!

After a few choice words about her now ex-friend, she continued on about how a man could even look at another woman having her (my friend) for a wife. I thought to myself...well, she is a little full of herself but oh well.

She then asked me if I would be jealous of my husband talking to a friend of mine behind my back. I told her first of all I wouldn't have a friend like that. Second, my reaction wouldn't have been like hers. I'd have to consider the situation before jumping the gun. Third, how the heck is my friend going to have my husband's cell phone number unless I gave it to her; which wouldn't happen in the first place because I would not allow someone like that near my family.

Now if he went out of his way to talk to one of my girlfriends with any intention other than friendship talk (which wouldn't bother me), then why would I want to keep him anyway? Makes absolutely no sense to me. Oh, I forgot to mention that she said to me, "your marriage is solid because you go to church." I told her, "my marriage is solid because I put God at the center of it." to Mary, earth to Mary.

To be continued.....

Have a blessed evening and don't forget to thank the good Lord for all your blessings. Especially your family.

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